Sid has taken the loss of his daddima really hard.
He’s not much of a talker when it comes to what he is feeling but yesterday (Sunday 4th Feb) he took out the iPad and started to create a list for all of us to complete about mums qualities and funny moments.
Here’s what he writes
“when I’d have a sleepover with her, I’d always go right to the corner [of the bed] as it was hot in the bedroom so I could get out of bed if I felt too hot but she’d always pull me back into the middle of the bed and would say that it’s to dangerous in case I fell.
That constant sense of caring that she always had was amazing. I thought nothing could compare with her sewa but this almost beats it!”
“It’ll just take 2 minutes. What’s the problem? There is no issue – just 2 minutes“ Was one of mum’s all time top lines. Whenever we wanted anything to eat, or if she asked if we wanted anything to eat (which she was relentless at) she would reply with this.
Mum’s love language, service language, was to make sure that we were satiated. To her, our full bellies, smiling faces in awe of her amazing cooking, were what seemed to drive her.
17th November 23. After her brain tumour diagnosis, she could barely stand, but she wanted to cook.
As a young child, I remember her making sure that she was up first, making the tea, toast and eggs, and then making sure that we have 5 almonds each, each morning, before leaving for school.
And not just us 3.
It was my cousin who would call for me in the morning, and my sisters friends who would call for her. And anyone else who would come round in the morning.
She served with love, and loved to serve. Nothing was ever any trouble for her.
We all got them. Those precious 5 almonds, that had been soaking overnight, and then painstakingly peeled by mum in the morning.
When my son was ready to eat solids, mum was so eager to start feeding him, that as soon as he was able to, his relationship with mum became more about food than anything else. She didnt spend time on teaching him to speak Punjabi or Hindi, or teaching him hymns to sing, she just wanted to bring him food, like he was some little maharaja, getting fresh fruit, ice creams, cakes, chicken curry, and her famous, renowned aloo paranthas.
We would always say, “mum don’t go to the effort and stress” and she would just respond ” It’s only going to take 2 minutes!“
Nothing was ever too much trouble for mum.
At her funeral, a number of people came up to me and shared the same story – about how she made something special for their children to eat, even when the kitchen was closed, or if the food had stopped being served, saying that “It’s no trouble – its just 2 minutes“
She served with love, and loved to serve. Her whole existence was service. To her Guru, Her family, Her fellow congregants. We were all gems in her crown.
For over 30 years, week in, week out, she and her Spiritual Sisters ran the kitchen at the Centre for Oneness in Wednesbury at the old and new buildings. Consistently, without fail, cetering for each weekly gathering, as well as the multitude of annual national events, weddings, birthdays funerals, all of them. Taking her annual leave off to support the congregation in good times and bad.
Her whole life was spent in this.
That void of love, of giving, of relentless servitude, is a chasm. She somehow managed to do the work of 3 people, without flinching, and then raising 3 kids through to us becoming parents ourselves.
How, is a question that will never be answered. But I am forever in awe of you my darling mum.
Pawn moves first, Bishop moves next. Every step is a move. Every move is a turn. You take the King, you win! You take like a maniac and you make your enemy weak. Only the pawn gets upgraded if it reaches the enemy’s side. You must swap your pawn for the Queen if it’s been taken. If the Queen has not been taken you can choose another piece. In that way, even a small pawn can win the game.
As a child, my dad was my all-time favourite person. He took me everywhere with him, whether that was the cash and carry, the park, warehouses for shop stock, relatives houses, friends’ houses, the social club; we had fun. Continue reading →
I love my son. More than my own life. And I think I can speak for nearly every parent out there, that there is no love quite like this.
When my son was born, I immediately fell in love with him. I mean, I dived straight into it.. I never thought I would, but I did, and before I knew it, I was telling my son “I love you” like a million times a day. Continue reading →
So my wife and I finally managed to get away for a few days.!
We spent a week in the wonderful city of Mumbai in India without our 3 year old.
Like many couples with young kids it’s off in a fighting battle to maintain some sense of balance in your relationship whilst managing a young child.
I think we were very grateful to have had a few days to ourselves to reconnect and just be us!
The city has such a beauty and vibrancy about it that I cannot explain, but my last visit in ‘94 when I was just 15 is still memorable and I can see why.
We spent a few days in Chembur, a large district in central Mumbai and then moved on to Juhu Beach at the JW Marriott hotel – perhaps one of the most amazing hotels I’ve stayed in – ever.
Needless to say, we both missed our son immensely, however we loved each minute of being together and exploring the beauty of this treasured city.
In the ocean there are fish
He took me everywhere with him, whether that was the cash and carry, the park, warehouses for shop stock, relatives houses, friends’ houses, the social club; we had fun. 
Diary of a Dazed Dad 