When you get your son his first Valentine’s day card from mummy and daddy … and it’s spot on for his room.
This is quite something to keep your little ones amused during half term!
From the day Sid was born, I’ve been telling him, on a daily basis, that I love him. Verbally about 20-30 times without fail.
At 3 months old he repeated me saying “hello” to him, which was beautiful and we managed to capture it in this video
It didn’t take much for him to mimic me saying hello to him, but saying “I love you” seemed to be his kryptonite.
He randomly now repeats words that we use and throws them back at us.. I get him calling his mum “Shangeeee” or “dhaaaliin” which is really sweet.
So how do I get away with the occasional profanity?
So I was getting changed in Sangs dressing room and dropped the moisturiser on the floor. I was already rushed and a little stressed and accidentally used the S word.
Not realising Sid was say behind me on the floor he repeated me and said “oh sit”…
Sangs expression and my amazement were to be captured.
I couldn’t get the little monkey to say I love you despite the thousands of times I’ve said it to him, but the one time I swear infront of him and that’s what he repeats?!?!
So how do I get away with expressing myself without him using he same words in public?
You could say to me “Vish it’s not polite to swear anyway- try stopping.. ”
Well bollox to that.
How do we get away with it…!??
I figured that the best way to do it, is to find an alternative.
For example “Oh Duck!” For the obvious, or “come on mate!” instead of “learn how to drive you jackass”
I ask you all, parents and non parents- what are good alternative swear words ?
Sleep deprivation is torture on every level. I understand why it is used as a torture mechanism by governments. It hurts physically and mentally.
I mean, she’s still my drop dead smoking hot wife, but she’s an awesome mum to our son too.
It wasn’t all plain sailing though.
As we chose to breast feed Sid, getting rest was one thing that was a real struggle. Sid had a huge appetite and was hungrier at night.
We didn’t plan for this, nor the effect (obscenely detrimental effect) this would have on us.
We went through 10 months of Sid being a rough sleeper of which the first 5 he was up about 10-20 times a night. That eased off to about 8times a night and then by 8 months he was up 4 times a night. You can see where I’m going with this.
By month 1 I looked like this.
So without going into details of what we did to manage this … I thought I’d list a few things that we experienced during this time and things to warn future parents of.
- Slurred speech. Ever remember trying to get out a sentence in a coherent manner to your work colleagues to sound vaguely intelligent after having a glass or two of wine? Well this is the first phase of delerium. Only it doesn’t wear off. You only know shit’s got wierd when you ask your work colleague to hold you up in case you fall over a desk you didn’t know you were standing on, wearing trousers that don’t match your suit jacket.
- Waking up in the middle of a conference call you started at work and wondered where everyone was, then realising you weren’t on a conference call, you’re not at work, your phone is just stuck to the side of your face.
- Desi parents will always try and bring food over just to play with the baby and when you explicitly say “don’t wake the baby” you shout at them for waking the baby with their overly loud questioning at the front door “Sid asleep!!??”
- Getting random bruises from walking into things that you knew perfectly well were there but on this drunken state, may as well be invisible.
- Walking into the the microwave door whilst it was wide open head first forgetting that 10 seconds ago you left it open yourself
- Sleeping together no longer means “getting lucky” it literally means falling asleep together. Sex is no longer on the menu. Sleep is the dish of the day. Any day.
- Having one partner that is responsible for putting the baby to sleep means we’re literally ducked if that partner is away for a night.
- Slapping yourself in the face just to get through drinking your first cup of coffee. After the first one you’re not so bad.
- Regretting not using protection. Having suffered with sleep deprivation for months it was always a niggle in the back of my mind. What if? I would be sound asleep and happy. Instead, I have the antichrist as a child at night.
- You’ve used shaving gel for toothpaste. Only happens 4 or 5 times
- You fall asleep taking a number 2 which started as a number 1 only it moved in that direction.
- Stubbing your toes on anything while picking up/putting the baby to sleep and then cursing the baby.
- Getting to 13 points in this list and while forgetting that you only wanted 10
Yes people sleep deprivation from having kids is real and it will f you up hard. But honestly it is worth it.
After the first 12 months, unless you decide to have another one. Then you only have yourself to blame.
So you’re pregnant!!
Well, not you per se, but you other half is.
And as dads, we get considered the accessory to all of this. The number of times I got ignored and pushed aside while people flocked to Wifey to say “wow aren’t you blossoming?” Was met with a number of stern looks from me and my casual response of “well I actually did most of the hard work but whatever” (rolling eyes emoticon). I had another 9 months of this.
Now for the next 9 months you may be wondering what to do when you’re not building the nursery, or panicking if you’re going to be a good dad, or dealing with the surge of emotions (hers) and so on.
But for me (like other dads) this was an incredible journey.
I was able to witness the creation of life and the development of my unborn child in all its glory. Without having to actually have the morning sickness, or the mood swings, or the swollen ankles.
This is about as much as most guys I’ve spoken to get involved. For me,this wasn’t enough. I often think that mums to be get the opportunity to develop a unique bond with their child, way before it pops out. They get to feel the baby and talk to the baby, they share a heart beat, and other bodily fluids.
But dads, it feels like we kind of sit there twiddling our thumbs before we can connect to the baby, which happens after its out in this world, and at this time you’re fighting off all other relatives to get time with him…
Me, well my family say that I’ve been broody since the age of 19 (probably true) and so this journey was one waited for patiently and I wanted to get connected to Sid as soon as possible.
I thought I’d list a few things that I would do, every evening, to connect with Sang and the growing baby, to develop a bond as a prenatal family.
These things kept me close to her, and I feel gave me a great connection to Sid before he arrived in June ’14.
- Listen to the bump. Every evening I would stick my ear to Sangs abdomen to try and hear the baby swishing around. More often than not, especially for the first few months, I just got Sangs sloshing tummy thanks to her hyperemesis (a whole other blog). But as the foetus developed, i would get the occasional punch or kick from Sid- probably won’t to my weighty head resting on him too much.
- Talk to the bump, really close up. Sid was a great listener. I did at times feel a little stupid talking to him, but being able to tell him about the outside world, how beautiful his mummy is, and let him hear another voice was a great feeling. For me it was a connection to him that I developed over time and I think it explains why he doesn’t bother listening to me now!
- Mozart for babies. We found a great piece of music, about 2 hours long written by Mozart, on YouTube. It was a sleep remedy for me and sang and also something for Sid to hear over my snoring. Apparently Classical music is great for a foetus’ development.
- Importantly – and this is especially useful for the mum- massage cream onto the bump every night and every morning. We used a Sanctuary Spa cream developed for mums in the evening which was loaded with collagen, and a tummy oil by the same people in the morning and after showers etc. I get a lot of praise from Wifey for doing that – not a single stretch mark from the pregnancy. Aside from the obvious benefit, massaging is a sure fire way to build a bond with mum and baby. Lots of kisses and hugs kept the love flowing.