Service With a Smile

“Whenever the zikhar of Sewa is mentioned, Basant ji, your name will be there.”

My mum’s closest friend, and adopted elder sister, my Kamlesh Aunty shared these words with us all in side room 1 of ward A8, as my darling mum took her last breath.

Mum had an obsession to serve. She put others at the heart of everything she did. She lived and breathed service to others. She was filled with this love of giving, and she made it central to her existence.

Mum was the epitome of service with a smile. She became The UK’s first sisters volunteer lead for the West Midlands Volunteers in 2005 with the blessings of Baba Hardev Singh Ji. Absolutely aware of the weight of the responsibility now on her shoulders, she kept her motivation the same as it was always. To serve with love. This she did to her last breath.

Within the art of Sewa is a spirit of selflessness. She didn’t think of it as that exactly. She thought of it as unconditional love. The act of giving with the purest love, like a parent to a child, she served.

Kamlesh Aunty shared a story with us, that I had never heard, and which made me understand mum a little bit more.

When mum was expecting my youngest sister, she was really scared of having to tell her mum. She confided in my aunt who shared with us, that mum was worried that nan would tell her off!

She thought that nan would say “you have 2 children already, when are you going to have time to carry out your sewa and the service of the sangat if you spend too much time raising a family?” – and this expectation and fear really worried mum. 

Anyway, when Nav was born in ’86, my nan came to visit and live with us for a while. It was this year that nan had seen what mum’s life in the UK was really like, how the family were, the sangat here, and her friends. And she was quite surprised!

Nan noticed that the house was really quite compared to the hustle and bustle of Saharanpur bhawan where she lived a congregation space of sangat every day, devotees visiting 2-3 times a day, and never a quiet moment, visiting homes of devotees to share in their joy and sorrow.

It was at this point that my nan had said that mum’s life needed a spirituality boost – now is time to start a ladies congregation. 

And so it was born. 

Out of my nan’s blessing, from our little home in Wolverhampton, following my little sister’s arrival into the world, that he ladies sangat started.

And 38 years later, it’s still going.

He’s finally talking.

Sid has taken the loss of his daddima really hard.

He’s not much of a talker when it comes to what he is feeling but yesterday (Sunday 4th Feb) he took out the iPad and started to create a list for all of us to complete about mums qualities and funny moments.

Here’s what he writes

when I’d have a sleepover with her, I’d always go right to the corner [of the bed] as it was hot in the bedroom so I could get out of bed if I felt too hot but she’d always pull me back into the middle of the bed and would say that it’s to dangerous in case I fell.

That constant sense of caring that she always had was amazing. I thought nothing could compare with her sewa but this almost beats it!”

He’s healing slowly. But he’s healing.