Things l’d like my Son to know 

Things I want my son to know. Lesson #12 – Have Courage, But don’t be afraid to cry.

“Big Boys Dont Cry”is something I used to hear a lot when I was growing up.

When I was 22, my granddad died peacefully in his sleep. He was someone I loved so much, someone who taught me the art of DIY, allowed me to drive his cars all the time, sit with him and play with him.

I remember getting the news at about 3am when I heard the house phone ring, and I immediately sensed he was gone, and it was confirmed by my mum’s crying. I jumped up in bed and burst into tears. My dad walked past, knocked on the door and saw me crying and said “Let it out now, but be strong when you get to the house” but there was no time. Granddad lived 3 doors from us, so I quickly got changed and had to dry my eyes and “be strong” for my family. Continue reading

Things I’d Like my Son to Know. 

Lesson #11- You are You in Everybody.

The golden rule; “Treat others how you too wish to be treated.”

The age old saying of treating others how you wish to be treated was one that I was taught many years ago.  It underpins cohesion and almost subtly enforced a social contract that I see you as someone with the shared values as I have and therefore will treat you as I expect to be treated.  Continue reading

Things I’d Like my Son to Know

Lesson 9 – Sometimes you just need “Me-Time”

After a tiring evening putting my son to bed I realised that in the past 3 months, i’ve not taken time out to go for a walk.  It was a bout 8pm and I was getting to that agitated point in my day where I felt as though I needed to expend some energy before I rest my head.

As I grabbed by jacket, keys and phone (for emergency) and exited the door and down the street, I realised I had left my prized partner at home – my wife.  For once, in a very long time, I was doing something that wanted to do, that was just about me and fresh air (as much as can be had in the suburbs of the UK) and I was actually glad for the time to myself. Continue reading

Things I’d Like my Son to Know

Lesson #7 – 30 seconds can change your life.

I heard a story about a 23 year old man, who was the sole man in the house looking after his mother, his siblings after his dad left.

As fate would have it, trying to make ends meet he gets into the wrong company and ended up in the wrong place at the wrong time. It took 30 seconds being in the wrong place, and he’s caught by the police, and I jailed for 2 years.  Continue reading

Things I’d Like my Son to Know

Lesson #6- be kind to yourself. Be kind to others.

I was watching an elderly lady who sat down to have a cup of tea today at a coffee shop.. she was by herself and had a walking stick.

I saw another elderly lady, who was sat watching this same old lady. Dressed really well, taken good care of herself and I thought to myself, “I wonder what she’s Thinking?” Continue reading

Things I’d Like my Son to Know 

Lesson #4 – Make it Better. 

As he scratched my cheek one morning, Sid saw that it was red and grazed. He asked me “Daddy, have you got aowee?” I said “yes son, you scratched me, remember”. 

He followed with, “daddy, shall I make it better?” And then kissed it and blew away the pain. 

He does the same with his toys. If he sees a toy broken. He either tries to fix it, or he will tell me to fix it. 

To him, right now, everything in this world is fixable. 

Son, almost everything you see in the world appears to be disposable. Phones, dishes, cars, clothes, everything. 

There was a time that people would fix, rather than buy or replace. But the world seems to have changed. 

And we have applied the same rule to people that we have to things. If they’re broken, rather than try and help fix them, we replace them. If a relationship has soured, throw it away and find a new one. If friends let us down, we act out on social media to find new ones rather than understand why they let us down. 

Just as you, at this really young age of 2, understand that my pain (which by the way, you caused) could be made to to go away with some effort by yourself, always remember that everything can be fixed with effort. 

Make things better. Apply it to your consumables, your toys, your furniture, your microwave, your TV. 

But most importantly, apply it to your relationships. If you do anything that hurts someone, or see someone in pain, try and make it better for them. Treat the symptom, but try and get to the root of the pain and help deal with it. 

There is a lot to gain in this world when repairing relationships. It builds trust, communcation, love and appreciation. 

Take time in these things, they will put you in good stead for life.